First let me come clean. I am a chick who likes to have the last word. It used to be that I had to have it and would prolong disagreements pointlessly in search of the last word. I am not that bad anymore, but I still like to have the final say. I swear to you internet dating will break me of this. The last word is only a way to prolong negative interactions. Let me give you an example.

So there was this guy on CraigsList. Let’s call him A. A started off with a nice response to my ad. He wrote intelligent responses. He seemed rather normal. He didn’t send a picture right away, so I was suspicious, but it was okay. We were chatting, and that was fine. Then one day, I guess I didnt answer an email fast enough. Or maybe he was feeling sensitive. Maybe he has separation anxiety or something, who knows? He sent me a message and I didn’t reply right away. This happens as I have a life and stuff. Three hours later, he sends a followup message questioning if I had received his last email and if I was still interested.

You know I almost instantly stopped speaking to him, right? But I decided to be a reformed One Date Wonder, and tell him why I was about to drop him like a hot potato. I wrote back and explained that I am a busy woman with a job, and a life, and things to do. Not all answers would be speedy. And if he needed that level of contact with someone that we would be a bad fit. A backed down immediately. Said he understood all of that and he had meant to be respectful blahblahblahcakes. He apologized. And, against my better judgment, I brushed the incident off and we continued to talk.

Then a time came when he didn’t write to me for four days. Honestly, I hardly noticed. When he eventually did write it was to say he had been ill and not on the computer and then to continue our email exchange. I hadn’t really missed the exchange, to be honest. But I kind of figured I should write back anyway. Still, I needed time to think about what I wanted to say to him next.

Then it happened. Not even 24 hours after that email he sent another asking if I has received it and was I still interested. As if my reaction to that email the last time wasn’t clear enough or something. Or as if he had not just been silent for four days. Who knows? I didn’t care about his silence so why was I being required to answer for mine on his schedule? But….. okay. I took a deep breath and decided to answer to tell him this truly wasn’t going to work out. I explained again that I felt it was a bad fit. I also pointed out that when he was silent for four days I never said a word, nor did I mind at all. And that I felt it was rather unrealistic for him to be okay with that but to question me after less than 24 hours of non-communication. I told him I was sure he was a very nice person but that this just wasn’t meant to be. And I wished him luck.

What did I get for my efforts? I’ll tell you what I got. I got a reminder as to why we usually hit delete and never respond when we’re finished with someone. I got a missive explaining how while I was attractive and smart, I was obviously too judgmental for him. You know, since I had chewed him out twice now. And he didn’t think it fair of me to judge him like that so clearly I am not the one for him.

Ladies and gentlemen, I managed to hit delete on that ridiculous drivel without firing out the last word. I let him have it. If it spares his fragile ego a bit, he is welcome to it. And one more thing (because this is my blog and I am entitled to the last word here)… I wasn’t judging him before and took great pains to make that clear. But after that stupid final note that he had to send to assuage his fragile tiny ego? Yep, you guessed it. I’m judging now. Way to go.

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