Dear Ann,

I’m kind of at my wits end and my gut is telling me something is really wrong. I think I know what is going on but maybe I just don’t want to see the truth. I am going crazy.

My 20-year old sister just came home from college for the summer to visit. She’s only staying with me for a couple of weeks before she’s going to fly out and visit my parents. I’m 28 and my boyfriend is 32. We’ve been together for a year and this is the first time he has met my sister.

The problem I’m having is my sister is very attractive and she knows it. She’s got the body and the face and she’s not afraid to use them. There has never been any shortage of guys sniffing around outside her door.

The past few days she has been prancing around here I feel purposefully half-clothed and my boyfriend has been getting more than an eye full. To top that off she’s a big flirt, always has been. I don’t have a problem with her being who she is but I feel like she is putting on more of show for him. And he seems totally into it. But I think it goes beyond that because I just feel strange around both of them. That eerie feeling that something is wrong has been with me almost since she got here.

Could something be going on between them? I haven’t actually found any evidence of anything but I feel like if maybe I did some snooping I would find something. She’s only here for another week but I feel like I can no longer stand it. I’m glad my boyfriend doesn’t live with me because if he did, I picture them in my bed getting busy while I’m at work. And to be honest my blood boils and I feel like I could just kill my sister.

Do I need to grow up? Am I just being paranoid? Or do I need to do some further investigating? What should I do?

Jessica

Las Vegas, NV

 

Dear Jessica,

Thanks for writing in. I don’t think you’re being paranoid at all. There is a reason we feel the way we do deep down when things just aren’t adding up or making sense. It’s because they aren’t. And our instincts are there to tell us so.

I don’t have a sister nor an exceedingly attractive one at that, but I have been in situations similar to this with boyfriends and best friends. This isn’t an easy situation to be in at all because:

1) You love your sister because well, she’s your sister.

and…

2) You love your boyfriend (I assume).

They’re both people you feel you ought to be able to trust enough to be around each other and behave themselves in granting you the same love and respect. And if they are morally upstanding people, no doubt they would.

I can however tell you of a disastrous experience I’d witnessed when I was younger. My first serious boyfriend had two female cousins (sisters) who, at the time, were both considerably older than us. He revealed to me that years ago, the younger sister slept with the older sister’s boyfriend and wound up getting pregnant. They came from a very traditional religious family and the then boyfriend, was forced to marry the pregnant sister.

Many years later the entire situation only proved it would continue to operate at a complete loss for everyone involved- the older sister and the younger sister were not on speaking terms at all whatsoever and to add insult to injury, she had nieces and nephews born of the cheating boyfriend who was now her brother-in-law, none of whom she had any ties with. Very very bitter, sad and painful situation all around.

If you don’t want your situation to pan out the same way or possibly worse (although I’m not sure there could be anything more disgustingly miserable), call your parents and announce that you’ll be sending your sister to them, bags fully-packed and rear end fully-covered a week early.

Not only because you want to diffuse anything further that may happen between your sister and your boyfriend but because she shouldn’t be welcome in your home with her wanton libidinous sluttish behavior towards your boyfriend. She knows exactly what she’s doing and she is disrespecting you in your own home, which in my opinion, is grounds enough for you to ask her to leave.

I realize she’s your sister but if you want to preserve your sanity and hopefully your relationships with the both of them, you’ll get her the hell out of your house now. This is a disaster with just the right element needed to allow it blow across town, well into and beyond the gutter landing face first straight into hell. Just imagine a full life of misery at the cost of a moment’s carelessness between two people who ought to know better than to lose control of themselves at the expense of possibly losing you.

I feel for you and what you’re going through and I hope you do what is right before everything goes very wrong. Don’t delay- waiting much longer is only going to prolong the possibility that things will prove to be what you’ve imagined all along and frighteningly so much more.

Love,

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