“Twenty Something: Why Do Young Adults Seem Stuck?” is THE book I’ve been waiting for about 20-somethings. Written by mother-daughter team Robin Marantz Henig (who is probably most well known for her controversial piece two years ago in The New York Times about 20-somethings) and Samantha Henig, it offers, in my opinion, the definitive examination of 20-something life in the 21st century. Sure, other books offer a lot of the same studies and similar anecdotes, but this book stood out to me for many reasons:

1. The fact that this book was written by a Baby Boomer (Robin) and her 20-something daughter (Samantha) offered different perspectives on the Millennial generation that other books lack.

2. Like me, the Henigs appreciate simplicity: each chapter is focused on one area of 20-something life with an easy to discern title. For example, Schooling deals with college and getting a degree; Love and Marriage deals with ….Love and Marriage; Baby Carriage deals with children and Parents as Co-Adults examines the relationship 20-somethings have with their parents.

3. In addition to looking at how technology and the recession have affected the lives of 20-somethings, the Henigs also take a close look at whether or not the media has exploited the idea that the Millennial generation is worse off or somehow different than previous generations going through their 20s. Each chapter is broken down into a section about what is different in today’s world (“Now is new”) and how it’s the same as generations past (“Same as it ever was”). At the end of each chapter, the two offer a bullet pointed overview of the chapter of new vs. same and conclude whether our generation does face more hardships compared to our older siblings, parents and grandparents. It’s very helpful for 20-somethings like me who have a short attention span or simply want to skip ahead and find out the end without reading the whole chapter.

There was so much good, timely information in this book that I’m breaking down the book notes into two parts. This first book notes will look at the first four chapters of “Twenty Something”: The Twenties Crossroads, Schooling, Career Choices and Love and Marriage. Because I like lists and find that’s the most fun for me as I write these blog posts about books, I’m going to just list the statistics/anecdotes/stories/bits of information in the book I underlined as I read the book.

The Twenties Crossroads

-Remember “Ally McBeal” from the 1990s? I never watched any episodes but was well aware of the show and how popular it was. I knew she was a lawyer living in New York City (I think?) and seemed to be so grown up. Guess how old she was? 27. Today a similarly career-focused woman is on TV: Liz Lemon from “30 Rock.” She’s another woman freaking out about whether she’ll never have the opportunity to have kids because of her age. She was 36 when the series started, a full decade older than Ally McBeal.

-Choice overload once again made its appearance. Having too many choices to choose from is a very real problem that can be paralyzing because you’re afraid you will make the wrong choice. In addition to too many choices, there’s also a phenomenon called decision fatigue. Basically, constantly making decisions can zap all the mental energy needed to remain rational and prudent. I definitely feel like I have decision fatigue at times and want someone to just tell me what to do.

-In a 2011 survey, one out of every three young adults said the Internet is as every bit as important to the human race as air, water, food and shelter. Another 48 percent said it was “pretty close” to being as essential as the basics for survival.

Schooling

-College tuition is out of control. In 1968, a student wanting to attend a four-year public university could work a minimum-wage job for about six hours a week to cover tuition and fees for the semester. Today, a student wanting to attend a four-year public university while working a minimum-wage job would need to work 40 hours a week to pay for tuition and fees.

-Advancing in school typically means delaying adulthood. A study in Michigan followed 1,410 kids from birth onward and found that educational choices set many of them apart. By the age of 24, 12 percent of them were making good money in jobs they were in for the long haul. Called “fast starters,” these study participants seemed to be pretty grown up: 73 percent were married, 57 percent had children and 55 percent owned their own homes. But the “fast starters” had gotten to the major life milestones so fast because they didn’t go to college and instead went straight from high school to the working world. Does that mean the least educated reach the milestones fastest and those with the highest education grow up slowest? Possibly.

Career Choices

-I’m sure your parents have said it to you, mine certainly have: “Start at the bottom.” “You have to pay your dues.” “Any job is better than no job.” Turns out, in today’s new economy that might not be true. Austin Goolsbee, a University of Chicago economist, says recent evidence shows that in today’s economy starting at the bottom means you will most likely be underpaid for a long time. He says the traditional advice of work hard, pay your dues and move steadily up the corporate ladder is bad advice. “While they may work their way up, the people who started above them do, too,” he says. “They don’t catch up.”

-Telecommuting, g-chatting, tweeting and Facebooking are all average daily behaviors of 20-somethings workers. Older generations may look at these activities as time suckers and laziness, but in reality, these activities might make 20-somethings more industrious and willing to work longer and harder. Think about it: Aren’t you more willing to work late when you can at least tweet and Facebook your friends if not see them in person, especially if those friends aren’t even in the same town as you?

Love and Marriage

-Online dating is now the third-most common way for people to meet and accounts for one in six new marriages, according to a study commissioned by Match.com. The fact that a dating website commissioned this study makes me question its veracity, but honestly, the statistics don’t seem that surprising or unreasonable.

-The beginning of a relationship is all about making choices: a choice to call, to go out, to date exclusively, etc. But after a while, instead of making choices, relationships can turn into another style: “sliding.” Sliding is navigating a path by going with the flow instead of making deliberate choices, like deciding to live together because you already spent five out of seven nights a week at one person’s apartment or deciding to get engaged because you’re already living together.

-Sliding into marriage is more common than I thought. Two out of three first-time brides are already living with the groom on their wedding day.

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