When it comes to women, hygiene is way up on their list. Not only are women’s noses more adept at sniffing out your pungent man odor, they’ll far less likely to put up with even the highest quality men should they discover their stink. You would think the solution would be common sense, but alas it is not.

Here are 6 rules that every man should know when it comes to personal hygiene:

1. Keep your nails clean and trimmed.

I know what you are thinking, and if you’re worried about people thinking of you as some metro-sexual Pauly D queerbo for taking care of yourself, then you worry too much about what others think about you. Personally, I’m a bit of a nail biter… so this is a work in progress for me. I’m not saying you have to go out and get a cuticle cleaner, but your nails should be in good shape and maintained regularly (toes included). If you’ve got a bad habit, time to crack it.

2. Bathe (shower) at least once a day

Let’s face it, your balls, armpits, and ass are the smelliest parts on your body. I pay extra attention to these areas every time I take a shower. Even if it means scrubbing down for 5 minutes before you get ready for a date, do it — the difference will be extremely noticeable.

I recommend bar soap, and employ the sniff test after each application and scrub. It might take two or three tests on each arm to eliminate odor the completely, depending on how active you’ve been recently and varies from person to person. Some guys employ other methods.

Always scrub down your balls and shaft at least twice before a date or a weekend outing with your wingmen. The last thing you need is to get a girl back to your place and scare her off with your dick-cheese funk stink (fellas, this is one of many forms of last-minute resistance).

If your feet and/or shoes stink, visit your local pharmacy for a cheap foot deodorizer and follow the instructions on the container.

There are guys out there who think they can get away without showering and still bring home women. These are the guys women avoid in bars and clubs — often ending up as the butt end of a joke. Don’t be that guy.

3. Always wear deodorant and cologne.

If it wasn’t crystal clear before, smell plays a huge subconscious role when dealing with the opposite sex. How many good players do you know roll out of the house smelling like they’ve been in bed for three days? Exactly.

No, “just put some Axe on that shit” is not an answer you clowns.

Fact: Applying Axe (or any real cologne) when your shit already stinks is like taking a girl to a garbage dump for a first date and hoping she doesn’t notice. Take a damn shower.

The same goes for cologne. No Brut, none of that crap you bought in high school. You are a man and you should be wearing a man’s cologne.

For selection, I agree most with this list. My favorites (based on reactions from women) being Calvin Klein’s Eternity, Hugo Boss, Clinique, Curve, and Gucci. Don’t be a tightwad when it comes to how you smell — women pick up on cheap cologne instantly.

Going to dance at the club? Bring a travel-size deodorant bar with you. Sweat is okay, odor is not.

No time? Make time. Fucking be late if you have to. If you’re going to sacrifice or half ass something, it should be your punctuality… not your appearance.

Girls have understood this for decades, which is why the worst of them spend hours and hours getting ready in the bathroom while you wait.

Moving on…

4. Keep your hair well-groomed (upstairs and down).

Got a uni-brow? Yup, she noticed it too bro. Shave/wax regularly.

To a woman, ear and nose hair is as unappealing as a woman with a mustache is to a man.

Buy a cheap nose & ear trimmer from Best Buy or Walmart for under $20. Once or twice a month, tops. Done and done.

Visit the barber shop or local men’s salon at least once every two weeks. Or better yet, do as I do and learn to cut your own hair. You begin to look more disheveled after the 2 to 3 week mark, which is why a cut to keep you looking fresh every two weeks is so important. If it’s starting to go up top, you may want to get a prescription, a new hair style, or a new wardrobe of stylish hats (future post).

Find a hairstyle that sticks, or experiment if that’s your thing. Figure out what works and what doesn’t, and don’t do that again (this should be your mantra to everyday living).

Odd random hairs on your neck, back, and shoulders? Time to take a razor to the grain. Once a week, if not more. The more you practice, the more efficient you’ll get. Be prepared to nick yourself a few dozen times first.

You need to make a choice.

Shave for a silky smooth girly chest or trim your hairy manly man chest?

My personal opinion is obvious, but not everyone can be a hairy man beast like me.

Just be sure to maintain whatever you choose.

Pubic hair should be a no-brainer. This area should always be well-maintained (i.e. trimmed weekly / bi-weekly) or shaved. No excuses for a tropic nether rainforest. Period.

5. Take care of your skin

There isn’t a lot you can do about acne in high school, but there are plenty of moisturizers and prescription medications out there today to combat bad skin. Man up and get a facial.

Kidding… just make sure to identify what your problem is (oily or dry skin) and buy the appropriate products — then use them regularly. It’s really as simple as that.

Some people have bad habits that contribute to poor skin (picking, scratching, touching your face too often, etc.) that can be very hard to break. Here’s a good article on breaking bad habits.

6. Watch Your Breath

Brush your teeth and floss twice a day.

I’m a hypocrite I know, I don’t really floss. But you really should. Colgate has a pretty interesting interactive guide to brushing that you should check out. Form and duration are both key.

If there’s one thing my dad taught me, it was taking care of your teeth is exceedingly important. Not just for smelling good, but for ensuring you have teeth left into your thirties, forties, and up.

Once in the morning, once at night, and once in between if you have a hot date. It’s only thirty seconds of your day. Mouthwash for extra effect — I always keep a small bottle in my car just in case (right next to an extra bottle of cologne).

When I go out I try to always have a few breath mints or pieces of gum handy in my pocket. Liquor and beer don’t tend to have the greatest effect on your breath after all. Sometimes I’ll even use the mints as a date-rape joke prop that feminists love.

It’s all in the delivery…

More To Read:

How To Buy A Gift For A Man (Hint, Hint)

The Real Reason He Didn’t Call Her Back After She Gave It Up

Five Things That Only Happen To Couples In Movies

The Overrated Value of Older Men

When She Says Man Up, She Has No Idea What She’s Talking About

She Wanted A Long Distance Relationship And This is Why I Said No

Five Things Women Say To Turn Men On That Don’t Work

Girls You Shouldn’t Fall For: The Confusingly Pretty Girl Edition

Better Men Than I