As dating coaches in the Washington DC area, one of the most frequently asked questions we get from women is why do so many men use text messaging to ask them out?  Many women lament that getting asked out over the phone seems to be a dying art in the digital age.  Men are asking women over text, email, Facebook,

Guys, you want to know what I tell them?

Ladies, the reason many men use text as a way to ask you out has a lot to do with keeping the nerves in check.  It’s simply easier to ask you over txt where they can take the time to think about a carefully crafted witty messages to send you.   Over a phone call, they know it’s going to be difficult to stay calm and and worry about say something silly or stupid that could turn you off.  Never mind contemplating the real possibility of actually rejected… to some guys, that’s all too much to ask.

Guys, being nervous is okay, avoiding “scary” things is not.

The bottom line is women don’t want the guy that’s afraid to talk them.  However, most women will understand if you’re nervous.  They will be too.  If you are one of those guys that has a hard time controlling your anxiety, consider txting as way to dip your toe in the water.  But be aware that it’s going to be an uphill effort from there to get her attention.  And more importantly, you’ll more likely to get denied a night out with her; if it’s going to be easier for you to txt, it’s going to be easier for her to ignore or say no to you.

Guys! Get Out Of Your Heads!

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The fact is, you already talked to her, otherwise how would you have gotten her phone number?  So pick up the phone and call.  As more guys hide behind texting, Facebook, email, the better chances you of standing out.. like a man

(If you got her phone number for anyone else but her, stop right there, sign up for one of our classes right away.  Seriously dude, don’t do that.)

And ladies… give them a break.

Some women simply deny any guy that doesn’t have the courage to call and that’s a big mistake.  There are plenty of men in this world that are great guys and simply lack a bit of polishing in regards to the initial process of picking you up.  You could be turning down a great connection based on one minor imperfection.  If you prefer men to judge you on substance over beauty, think about what you’re judging them on and decide if that really is an important rule to keep.  Can you truly summarize a man’s character over this?  Of course not.  Makes it almost irrelevant doesn’t it?